I'm back!

...and am now legally wed.

I honestly couldn't have asked for a better, more beautiful day. The weather was gorgeous, everything went smoothly, and most importantly, we were surrounded by people we loved. I couldn't feel more blessed.

Emotions are not the enemy

Today was exactly what I needed. I slept in, lounged around the house until the afternoon, ran a few errands and then did a couple of yoga classes. Yes, a couple. I ended up taking a class right after my private session. Two and a half hours of yoga today! Crazy.

I've often had teachers say that a certain pose or twist can release certain emotions, and I have to admit that I've often rolled my eyes at that. Today, though, after doing a particularly difficult shoulder-opener in my private class, I started bawling for absolutely no reason. I mean, yes, I've been generally stressed about the wedding, family, work, etc., but I was feeling really good today! Fortunately, I was alone with one of my all-time favourite teachers, so it wasn't as embarrassing as it could have been. She encouraged me to let go and just have a good cry, and I have to admit that I felt waaaay better afterwards. 

My practice was so much smoother and cleaner after I had my little meltdown. The second class was actually a breeze compared with the private one! Later, a friend of mine called, and she said that I sounded happier than I have in weeks. So maybe a few tears are a good thing?

Have any of you ever experience an emotional release while practicing? When and what happened? I am actually super fascinated by this now!

p.s. The picture today is from Riverdale Farm here in Toronto - because who can resist a tunnel with a light at the end of it?

I am bad at blogging

I know that it's been a while since I posted, mostly because I'm living in a haze of work-yoga-wedding-prep-thank-you-card insanity. I have so much that I want to write about, so I think I'll just put it in point form:

- My sisters were here this weekend! I adore them.

- Two of my best friends and my sisters threw me a surprise wedding shower that involved delicious food, Apples to Apples, and belly dancing.

- Everyone is being so awesome about the wedding, and I am feeling really loved. 

- The staff that I have right now is probably one of the best that I've ever worked with. 

- They gave me a certificate for a pedicure/manicure for my wedding!

- It will be the first manicure and pedicure I've ever had!

- I am getting married in 9 days

- I am starting to feel really overwhelmed, even though I swore that I would make this as easy as possible.

- Some people that I really care about aren't able to make it (for super legitimate reasons!) and that's hard.

- Family politics are really tough.

- My wedding is going to be pretty small and intimate and I'm really excited! It will be full of people we love.

- I haven't had as much time for yoga lately, and my practice has definitely suffered.

- I tried my first hot class at a Moksha studio and I really liked it!

- I am doing a private class today with one my favourite teachers of all time. 

- I'm trying to justify the expense as a de-stress-wedding-gift-to-myself sort of thing.

- I am super tired and emotional these days.

That's all for now, my lovelies. Think good thoughts and enjoy the gorgeous weather!

How I get caught up in things and give myself headaches.

When Matt and I got engaged, I was very nonchalant about the whole wedding thing. In fact, I may have even bragged that planning a wedding wouldn't be too tough, since I'm pretty chill about it.

Dudes, it is exhausting. 

Every weekend I have off, we pack up a rental car and drive to Kingston. Since this is where my mother lives now (she moved there after I left for school), this is where the wedding will be. 

Don't get me wrong - I'm super excited! I love my dress, the church is adorable, the reception hall is old and gorgeous and right on the water. I'm just really, really exhausted right now. Also, I feel like I'm going to forget something big, like we'll get to the reception and there will be no cake.

Except I did order the cake from a really tiny, sweet Kingston bakery, and it's going to be chocolate.

We did manage to take some time out from planning to go out to the Little Cataraqui Creek Conservation Area this weekend. It was really nice just to walk around and breathe fresh air and not worry about anything for a few hours. We saw a turtle, a couple of snakes, and a TON of frogs. Seriously, every step resulted in at least one or two frogs jumping out of our path. The picture above is of a tiny one that jumped into my hands.

I know this is supposed to be a yoga blog, but there's not much yoga going on this week. I'm still keeping up my home practice (although my handstand this morning was probably one of the worst I've ever done), but unfortunately I don't have much time for classes.

Friday I'm going to something called Fake Prom. It will be vintage dresses + nice people + booze. An excellent combination!

Awesome inversions and stormy savasanas

Who doesn't love a good, old-fashioned alliterative title?

Today was definitely better,  but by the time I got to my yoga class, I was exhausted. It always amazes me how my practice can change from day to day - yesterday I was feeling huge and strong and ready to take on the world, today I was feeling totally shaky in poses that don't generally pose a challenge for me.

My teacher today was the person I mentioned in my last post, Charlene Yeh. I've never taken a class with her before, and now that I have I can understand what all the fuss was about. She was really, really great. She led us in a gorgeous chant at the beginning of the class, and she's one of those teachers who gives you massages with nice-smelling lotion at the end of the class. 

And yes, the stuff that came in between the chanting and the savasana was good too. We did some neat inversions, including this reverse handstand sort of thing where you start out with your hands on the floor and your feet on the wall with your body making a 90 degree angle in the air, and then you slowly walk your hands back towards the wall and climb your feet up so that eventually you're in handstand while facing the wall. It's neat to have the usual way you do things turned on its head. Plus, I love inversions. These days I am all about inversions.

She also talked a bit during class about this Zen book she is reading, and what it has to say about the beginner's mindset. The book says that beginners have many options open for them, whereas people with a more "I'm advanced" mindset have a more narrow world view. Obviously, it's important to keep that beginner's mindset and try to stay open to learning as long as you keep living. This is something that I need to remember.

There had been a storm brewing all day, and the clouds finally burst just as we were beginning savasana. The storm came all at once - rain pelting the windows, thunder and lightning so close by that they were nearly overlapping. It was wonderful lying there, breathing deeply, listening to the storm rage outside. 

Unfortunately, when I got home I learned that the storm had turned deadly in some places. To the north, east and west of the city there have been tornadoes, with people losing windows and the roofs off their houses. At least one person has died. For a while, we were afraid that there would be a tornado in Toronto - the sky was a sickly shade of green for about half an hour, and the cats were looking extremely nervous. It's strange how something as fiercely beautiful as a summer storm can be dangerous as well.

Today was a less-than-stellar day. It started out really well with an early morning ashtanga class, but it was pretty much downhill from there.

Work wasn't great, for reasons that I won't get into, and I really was not a happy camper. One good thing that I can take away from this day is that I managed to maintain my composure even when things were really tough. 

I'm usually the type of person who cries if you look at me the wrong way. I've definitely had my days where I ended up in the bathroom taking a tearful break. It's nice to know that I'm (hopefully) changing for the better and getting a firmer grip on my emotions. Sometimes it seems like I'm a non-stop feelings machine.

On a completely different note, for anyone who might be reading this AND living in Toronto AND wanting to take a fabulous class tomorrow (Thursday, August 20th), an amazing teacher by the name of Charlene Yeh will be doing a class at the Roots Yoga Studio (1073 Yonge Street). She comes highly recommended by a teacher that I really trust, and friends of mine who have taken her class say that it's amazing. She's a music student in Paris during the school year and incorporates a lot of music and singing in her classes, and the last one she taught at the Roots studio also involved chakra work. I'm excited!

Today's picture is one I took of a sunrise in the Annapolis Valley. It was pretty. It makes me happy.

Whole World vs. First World

I am sitting out on my fire escape as I type this, enjoying a gorgeous summer night. I tried to take a picture of my view for you, but it was too dark. I'll do my best to describe it for you:

I'm on the third floor, on a wrought iron fire escape just outside my dining room window - my cat is sitting on the sill, giving me a very bewildered look. Our building has a courtyard out back shaded by several gorgeous old trees, and a few of my neighbours have set up patio furniture down there. A family from the next floor down is sitting out there right now - I can see the flicker of a lighter and hear the murmur of conversation. 

The rest of my view is taken up by the building behind mine, but I don't mind. Both it and my building date back to the 20s, and they are wonderful specimens of the architecture of this era. My boyfriend just poked his head out the kitchen door and asked if I wanted some ice cream.

I am very lucky.

I've been thinking a lot about this lately. How lucky I am, I mean.

First of all, let me make a confession: I complain a lot. I complain about my job, about the heat, about my family, about having to wait in a line at the grocery store, about the rude man at the bank. I make a big production of it, sighing and rolling my eyes, hoping everyone will know just how difficult my life is.

It's not really that difficult. Not when I put it into perspective.

Lately I've been trying to classify my problems as "whole world problems" and "first world problems". Had to wait in line at the grocery store? First world problem. At least I have a grocery store to shop in, and I have money to buy food with.

My mother went out and bought favours for my wedding, even though I told her that I wanted cards from the cancer society saying that a donation had been made in my guests' names? First world problem. I am marrying the person I love, and my mother cares enough about me to help pay for the wedding. So what if I don't agree with everything she wants to spend her money on? She's doing it because she'd excited that her daughter is getting married.

I challenge you to think before you open your mouth to complain about something. Is this really an issue that will make or break your life? Children are starving to death, mothers are dying in childbirth from inadequate medical care, wars are raging around the world. Is it really worth putting up a fuss because the sandwich you ordered isn't made exactly to your specifications?

To end on a happier note, here's one of my favourite videos of all time, by Halifax artist Jenn Grant: